4 Steps for Setting Boundaries!

Foster your own well being.

You’ve heard the saying “good fences make good neighbors”. Why is that?

It’s because a good fence sets a boundary for your neighbor to honor if she wants to be a good neighbor.

The fence says “no - it’s not okay to put your stuff in my yard”. Or “hey, this is my space and that’s your space.”

Good fences serve your own personal health and well being. They make it possible for you to preserve your space… your tolerance… and/or your comfort zone.

Boundaries tell people – “this is me and that is you.” They help people know how to interact with you right from the start. And boundaries give you permission to say “NO” without guilt or hesitation.

As a 50+ Fabulous Woman you likely wears many hats and serve many people. As such - boundaries can be your new best friend.

If you’re a giver and a do’er, you may find the process of setting boundaries a bit daunting. You’ll likely run the emotional gauntlet of:

● What will people say?

● Will they be offended?

● Will I lose friends or will family turn away from me? Will I end up alone?

● What if I miss out on something I really want to do?

● Will setting boundaries harden my heart?

● I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!

If you’re a giver and a do’er, you may find the process of setting boundaries a bit daunting. You’ll likely run the emotional gauntlet of:

● What will people say?

● Will they be offended?

● Will I lose friends or will family turn away from me? Will I end up alone?

● What if I miss out on something I really want to do?

● Will setting boundaries harden my heart?

● I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!

Just like a fence around your yard, boundaries don’t turn people away or tell others you aren’t approachable. Boundaries are guidelines for interaction.

You aren’t setting boundaries topped with barbed-wire and motion-sensor spotlights… you’re setting lovely white picket-fence like boundaries :)

Just like a fence around your yard, boundaries don’t turn people away or tell others you aren’t approachable. Boundaries are guidelines for interaction.

You aren’t setting boundaries topped with barbed-wire and motion-sensor spotlights… you’re setting lovely white picket-fence like boundaries :)

Let’s get started!

Step #1: Give yourself permission! You’re allowed to have “me” space and time. It gives you an opportunity to reflect on your day or life… do activities that are important to your health… try new hobbies… or anything else that matters to YOU.

Step #2: Identify the boundaries! This isn’t an all or nothing activity. Start small where your comfort zone sits and gradually add in boundaries as needed.

One that I use with the teenagers is - don’t come up on me talking. Give me a minute to finish what I’m doing and acknowledge you.

Let’s get started!

Step #2: Identify the boundaries! This isn’t an all or nothing activity. Start small where your comfort zone sits and gradually add in boundaries as needed.

One that I use with the teenagers is - don’t come up on me talking. Give me a minute to finish what I’m doing and acknowledge you.

This boundary gives me a few seconds chance to pause what I’m doing or thinking, and it teaches them how to respect other’s time and space.

Step #3: Implement the boundaries! Communication is key. When setting boundaries, you are actually changing the behavior of those around you as well as yourself. The transition will go much better, when everyone understands what you want to accomplish.

Keep in mind that you’re not obligated to “explain yourself”. But sharing a little of the “why it matters” invokes the emotional triggers in others. The triggers help reduce friction and ensure a good outcome.

This boundary gives me a few seconds chance to pause what I’m doing or thinking, and it teaches them how to respect other’s time and space.