There’s Nothing “Perfect” About Positive Aging

By Simone

“Be gentle on yourself; you’re doing the best you can.”

Please tell me one time when being hard on yourself genuinely helped you.

And I'm not talking about the "come to Jesus" talk we give ourselves when we know we aren't hitting our standard of work.

I'm talking about the unnecessary, beat-yourself-up chatter that lives in our heads.

Negative Nancy sure likes to sit on our shoulders, sputtering nonsense like, "Did you really need to do that? Why did you say that? Look at all the terrible things you've done. You are not enough."

Tell Nancy to take a hike.

“Be gentle on yourself; you’re doing the best you can.”

Please tell me one time when being hard on yourself genuinely helped you.

And I'm not talking about the "come to Jesus" talk we give ourselves when we know we aren't hitting our standard of work.

I'm talking about the unnecessary, beat-yourself-up chatter that lives in our heads.

Negative Nancy sure likes to sit on our shoulders, sputtering nonsense like, "Did you really need to do that? Why did you say that? Look at all the terrible things you've done. You are not enough."

Tell Nancy to take a hike.

“Be gentle on yourself; you’re doing the best you can.”

Please tell me one time when being hard on yourself genuinely helped you.

And I'm not talking about the "come to Jesus" talk we give ourselves when we know we aren't hitting our standard of work.

I'm talking about the unnecessary, beat-yourself-up chatter that lives in our heads.

Negative Nancy sure likes to sit on our shoulders, sputtering nonsense like, "Did you really need to do that? Why did you say that? Look at all the terrible things you've done. You are not enough."

Tell Nancy to take a hike.

Being overly critical doesn't motivate you to do anything more than sit alone, totally consumed with the list of less-thans.

Here's the kicker – you can get lost in the unreachable self-created yardstick. Or you can say, "Ehhh – that's not a realistic goal," and allow yourself to be human.

Want another secret? Those who allow themselves to be human, with all their shortcomings and unintentionally toxic traits, get more done.

Why? How can that be?

Being overly critical doesn't motivate you to do anything more than sit alone, totally consumed with the list of less-thans.

Here's the kicker – you can get lost in the unreachable self-created yardstick. Or you can say, "Ehhh – that's not a realistic goal," and allow yourself to be human.

Being overly critical doesn't motivate you to do anything more than sit alone, totally consumed with the list of less-thans.

Here's the kicker – you can get lost in the unreachable self-created yardstick. Or you can say, "Ehhh – that's not a realistic goal," and allow yourself to be human.

Want another secret? Those who allow themselves to be human, with all their shortcomings and unintentionally toxic traits, get more done.

Why? How can that be?

They are not wasting time obsessing over everything they have yet to do and creating a bigger hurdle to climb over. The work is there whether or not you go through mind games to get there. So why put time and energy into them?

When you stop focusing on your shortcomings, you can pinpoint what is in your way of accomplishing your goals.

Want another secret? Those who allow themselves to be human, with all their shortcomings and unintentionally toxic traits, get more done.

Why? How can that be?

When you stop focusing on your shortcomings, you can pinpoint what is in your way of accomplishing your goals.

Is it that you can't keep focus? Is the house too messy for you to even start? Are you unhappy because you haven't had the chance to get out and walk?

You could be missing girlfriends, kids, or time with your partner. It could even be that you just encountered a significant life change or the loss of a loved one.

You can't identify the reason for the underlying discomfort when you take the more damaging route of criticizing yourself.

So what if you have dust in your house? That doesn't measure your worth.

And who cares if you have wrinkles? Again, it doesn't measure your worth. Maybe you haven't covered your grey hair in 3 years. It still doesn't measure your worth.

Perhaps your body isn't where you want it to be. It doesn't measure your worth. Or you may need help to afford to buy a fancier wardrobe. It doesn't measure your worth.

Not only were we bombarded with books like "Where There's a Will, There's an A" and parenting how-to's... our kids were navigating through diet pill ads, Columbine, overly sexualized tv-drama, and, shortly after the decade ended, 9/11.

And... therapy wasn't really a big seller in those days.