5 Steps To Embracing Change
"Time makes you bolder. Children get older. I’m getting older, too." Fleetwood Mac
Change, no matter the age, is never easy… but there is something different this time.
Your kids are grown and busy with their own families. You may be looking at retirement and thinking, "what do I do now." After 20 years of marriage, you are suddenly a divorcee or widow. The changes in your life right now are endless… and they all seem pretty huge.
Listen. This is hard stuff. These significant changes are no easy task, so feeling lost is totally and completely normal. Job changes, relationship changes, location changes… these are some of life's biggest stressors.
And although change means we have a new adventure on the horizon, we may not be ready to accept it.
Yet, with some loving and focused perspective, we can navigate the change easier and move toward the other side faster.
Having tips helps us move through this moment of life. Read on to uncover the ways to embrace change.
"Time makes you bolder. Children get older. I’m getting older, too." Fleetwood Mac
Change, no matter the age, is never easy… but there is something different this time.
Your kids are grown and busy with their own families. You may be looking at retirement and thinking, "what do I do now." After 20 years of marriage, you are suddenly a divorcee or widow. The changes in your life right now are endless… and they all seem pretty huge.
Listen. This is hard stuff. These significant changes are no easy task, so feeling lost is totally and completely normal. Job changes, relationship changes, location changes… these are some of life's biggest stressors.
And although change means we have a new adventure on the horizon, we may not be ready to accept it.
Yet, with some loving and focused perspective, we can navigate the change easier and move toward the other side faster.
Having tips helps us move through this moment of life. Read on to uncover the ways to embrace change.
"Time makes you bolder. Children get older. I’m getting older, too." Fleetwood Mac
Change, no matter the age, is never easy… but there is something different this time.
Your kids are grown and busy with their own families. You may be looking at retirement and thinking, "what do I do now." After 20 years of marriage, you are suddenly a divorcee or widow. The changes in your life right now are endless… and they all seem pretty huge.
Listen. This is hard stuff. These significant changes are no easy task, so feeling lost is totally and completely normal. Job changes, relationship changes, location changes… these are some of life's biggest stressors.
And although change means we have a new adventure on the horizon, we may not be ready to accept it.
Yet, with some loving and focused perspective, we can navigate the change easier and move toward the other side faster.
Having tips helps us move through this moment of life. Read on to uncover the ways to embrace change.
1. Acknowledge the change
This seems easy. It isn't always.
Say your son got married to a wonderful girl. He used to stop by for dinner three times a week; now you see him every other weekend. Your first instinct may be to lash out at the new couple, thinking they are now ignoring you and denying you the ability to see your son.
Although you acknowledge they married, you may pretend the greater change didn't happen. This denial creates a false reality.
1. Acknowledge the change
This seems easy. It isn't always.
Say your son got married to a wonderful girl. He used to stop by for dinner three times a week; now you see him every other weekend. Your first instinct may be to lash out at the new couple, thinking they are now ignoring you and denying you the ability to see your son.
Although you acknowledge they married, you may pretend the greater change didn't happen. This denial creates a false reality.
Your son got married and is working on building a new marriage, and now his time is pulled. His time... not his love or your importance in his life. And that is the change you must acknowledge.
Acknowledging the change happened is step one. You may not like it; it may cause sadness or confusion, yet acknowledging there is a change is vital to moving through and eventually embracing the change.
Your first instinct may be to lash out at the new couple, thinking they are now ignoring you and denying you the ability to see your son.
Your son got married and is working on building a new marriage, and now his time is pulled. His time... not his love or your importance in his life. And that is the change you must acknowledge.
Acknowledging the change happened is step one. You may not like it; it may cause sadness or confusion, yet acknowledging there is a change is vital to moving through and eventually embracing the change.
Your son got married and is working on building a new marriage, and now his time is pulled. His time... not his love or your importance in his life. And that is the change you must acknowledge.
Acknowledging the change happened is step one. You may not like it; it may cause sadness or confusion, yet acknowledging there is a change is vital to moving through and eventually embracing the change.
2. Accept the change
Make no mistake, admitting change and accepting it are two very different things.
Maybe you find yourself at a point where you and your spouse are no longer in sync. Perhaps you are so out of sync that you acknowledge your marriage is no longer working for you, but you are not accepting that the marriage is ending.
This could create an incredibly toxic situation for you and your spouse.
Or in the example above, accepting your son is working on a new life means recognizing that you cannot see him multiple times a week. Instead of fighting with or guilting him into coming over, you know this is a part of life's course and allow the change.
That doesn't mean your feelings stop. There will be grief for the life that was, as well as a plethora of emotions: anger, confusion, sadness, peace, and hope. Make space in your world for these emotions to flow through and out of you.
Seek out what you need to support yourself in this moment of change. Sometimes it may be alone time, while other times, you may need support in the way of friends or family. It is entirely acceptable and healthy to reach out for help.
2. Accept the change
Make no mistake, admitting change and accepting it are two very different things.
Maybe you find yourself at a point where you and your spouse are no longer in sync. Perhaps you are so out of sync that you acknowledge your marriage is no longer working for you, but you are not accepting that the marriage is ending.
This could create an incredibly toxic situation for you and your spouse.
Or in the example above, accepting your son is working on a new life means recognizing that you cannot see him multiple times a week. Instead of fighting with or guilting him into coming over, you know this is a part of life's course and allow the change.
That doesn't mean your feelings stop. There will be grief for the life that was, as well as a plethora of emotions: anger, confusion, sadness, peace, and hope. Make space in your world for these emotions to flow through and out of you.
Seek out what you need to support yourself in this moment of change. Sometimes it may be alone time, while other times, you may need support in the way of friends or family. It is entirely acceptable and healthy to reach out for help.
Perhaps you are so out of sync that you acknowledge your marriage is no longer working for you, but you are not accepting that the marriage is ending.
This could create an incredibly toxic situation for you and your spouse.
Or in the example above, accepting your son is working on a new life means recognizing that you cannot see him multiple times a week. Instead of fighting with or guilting him into coming over, you know this is a part of life's course and allow the change.
That doesn't mean your feelings stop. There will be grief for the life that was, as well as a plethora of emotions: anger, confusion, sadness, peace, and hope. Make space in your world for these emotions to flow through and out of you.
Seek out what you need to support yourself in this moment of change. Sometimes it may be alone time, while other times, you may need support in the way of friends or family. It is entirely acceptable and healthy to reach out for help.
3. Keep it Positive
When we resist change, we tend to dwell on the negative aspects of it and all the reasons the change is "wrong." Yet, when we meet the change with the positive, even if it is small, it helps us to move through it and create a new worldview.
When your son marries, you may not see him three times a week, but you now have a daughter you never knew you'd have. You can save energy to cook your son's favorite meal when he comes home each week versus cooking three nights a week.
With all the extra time, you can take up a new hobby and focus more on yourself.
Focusing on the positive doesn't mean you ignore the sad emotions that bubble up with change, but you note the short- and long-term positives the change could bring in your life.
3. Keep it Positive
When we resist change, we tend to dwell on the negative aspects of it and all the reasons the change is "wrong." Yet, when we meet the change with the positive, even if it is small, it helps us to move through it and create a new worldview.
When your son marries, you may not see him three times a week, but you now have a daughter you never knew you'd have. You can save energy to cook your son's favorite meal when he comes home each week versus cooking three nights a week.
With all the extra time, you can take up a new hobby and focus more on yourself.
Focusing on the positive doesn't mean you ignore the sad emotions that bubble up with change, but you note the short- and long-term positives the change could bring in your life.
When your son marries, you may not see him three times a week, but you now have a daughter you never knew you'd have. You can save energy to cook your son's favorite meal when he comes home each week versus cooking three nights a week.
With all the extra time, you can take up a new hobby and focus more on yourself.
Focusing on the positive doesn't mean you ignore the sad emotions that bubble up with change, but you note the short- and long-term positives the change could bring in your life.
4. Evaluate and adjust
Embracing change doesn't mean the hardships are instantly gone because you accept this new moment. To help move through the transition, identify obstacles, and brainstorm solutions to adapt to the new way of life.
Take retirement. This is a massive change for most of us. Instead of going to work where there is an automatic sense of purpose and need, you now are home with endless time on your hands.
What do you do to fill that time? What obstacles will you have now that you are retired (budget, new friends, health insurance)?
How can you overcome these obstacles (part-time job, library groups, Silver Sneaker plans).
Take time to take inventory of how this change will affect you, what struggles you see within it, and then come up with a plan of attack.
Take retirement. This is a massive change for most of us. Instead of going to work where there is an automatic sense of purpose and need, you now are home with endless time on your hands.
What do you do to fill that time? What obstacles will you have now that you are retired (budget, new friends, health insurance)?
Take time to take inventory of how this change will affect you, what struggles you see within it, and then come up with a plan of attack.
5. Talk it out
Be prepared for all the emotions.
Change is not to be underrated. Yet, on the other side of change, we find a new person standing in our shoes – one who is wiser and more at peace after embracing the changes. That growth comes after working through the change.
Likely, someone in your friend group or family has experienced similar situations. They won't be exact, but enough that you may find kinship in this new place.
If you are going through a significant loss or change and are uncomfortable sharing hard emotions with your inner circle, seek a support group or therapist.
Talking through the change helps us accept our truths and move past them.
You've Got This!
Change can feel very overwhelming. You are allowed to sit with that feeling for a moment and watch the storm of change swirl around.
But then, get to work. Acknowledge and accept the storm and find ways to move through it. Seek out those who will help you when you feel overpowered by it.
Change is hard, but that doesn't mean it is bad. On the other side of a downpour are the flowers that grow from the rain.
You are not alone at this moment. Our entire community of Positive Agers is going through the winds of change with you. We can build each other up and provide support.
Don't be afraid to reach out – after all, there will come a time when your experience will help another through theirs.
Here is to you! You've got this! Cheers to Positive Aging and Embracing Change!
4. Evaluate and adjust
Embracing change doesn't mean the hardships are instantly gone because you accept this new moment. To help move through the transition, identify obstacles, and brainstorm solutions to adapt to the new way of life.
Take retirement. This is a massive change for most of us. Instead of going to work where there is an automatic sense of purpose and need, you now are home with endless time on your hands.
What do you do to fill that time? What obstacles will you have now that you are retired (budget, new friends, health insurance)?
Take time to take inventory of how this change will affect you, what struggles you see within it, and then come up with a plan of attack.
5. Talk it out
Be prepared for all the emotions.
Change is not to be underrated. Yet, on the other side of change, we find a new person standing in our shoes – one who is wiser and more at peace after embracing the changes. That growth comes after working through the change.
Likely, someone in your friend group or family has experienced similar situations. They won't be exact, but enough that you may find kinship in this new place.
If you are going through a significant loss or change and are uncomfortable sharing hard emotions with your inner circle, seek a support group or therapist.
Talking through the change helps us accept our truths and move past them.
Likely, someone in your friend group or family has experienced similar situations. They won't be exact, but enough that you may find kinship in this new place.
If you are going through a significant loss or change and are uncomfortable sharing hard emotions with your inner circle, seek a support group or therapist.
Talking through the change helps us accept our truths and move past them.
You've Got This!
Change can feel very overwhelming. You are allowed to sit with that feeling for a moment and watch the storm of change swirl around.
But then, get to work. Acknowledge and accept the storm and find ways to move through it. Seek out those who will help you when you feel overpowered by it.
Change is hard, but that doesn't mean it is bad. On the other side of a downpour are the flowers that grow from the rain.
You are not alone at this moment. Our entire community of Positive Agers is going through the winds of change with you. We can build each other up and provide support.
Don't be afraid to reach out – after all, there will come a time when your experience will help another through theirs.
Here is to you! You've got this! Cheers to Positive Aging and Embracing Change!
Seek out those who will help you when you feel overpowered by it.
Change is hard, but that doesn't mean it is bad. On the other side of a downpour are the flowers that grow from the rain.
You are not alone at this moment. Our entire community of Positive Agers is going through the winds of change with you. We can build each other up and provide support.
Don't be afraid to reach out – after all, there will come a time when your experience will help another through theirs.
Here is to you! You've got this! Cheers to Positive Aging and Embracing Change!
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